//GOD AND ME. 📌
//October 15th, 2024. 11.53 PM
Jeremiah 19:9, “And I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and all shall eat the flesh of their neighbors...”
If you've found this link, good on you. This is essentially where I will rant about my relationship with religion in a similar format to my Journal entries (obviously the code is simply copied from there... I'm lazy). This is a very personal topic for me, one that I have lots of thoughts and feelings on that I often do not have the opportunity to express.
I was initially raised Christian. There was never any specific denomination that my family stuck to, as there was a general disdain for churches and specificity throughout my religious life, which, looking back, I am grateful for. I was certainly never as oppressed as I could have been, outside of a few spare experiences that made me uncomfortable at the time, and angry now.
Regardless, God has always had a strong presence in my life. I was a very anxious child. I would resort to praying for help very often when I was ailed with panic and anxiety attacks at age 10-12. It never helped, of course, because I was praying to a being that would not listen, regardless of his existence. Growing up in America, there is always a lingering feeling of Christian influence, and it has always felt more supressing than not. This is especially evident in more recent years, as my father has gotten more radical (not in a good way) in his beliefs, and our country as a whole has gotten more Christian-centric, it seems. What with the election striking a lot of fear into people, as well as delusional folk who believe the rapture is coming to take us all, when it's really just global warming.
If it wasn't clear enough, I think Christians are stupid. Infathomably so. I have a great disdain for Catholics (hatred is a more accurate word, to be fair), but the whole religion honestly infuriates me at this point. They - the leaders of these churches, these religions - value keeping their flocks of sheep dumb and ignorant to push fearmongering and insane ideas written by MEN in their so-called "history book". It disgusts me.
While I am not a theistic Satanist, nor do I apply the label to myself, there have been many days where I've considered "converting", so to speak. Mostly in spite of my father, who has spout vile, bigoted things to me and my queer siblings because he's just "so empathetic". His heart bleeds for nonexistent children being dragged to drag shows and being exposed to sex acts... oof, too bad he's crying for no reason. But either way, I align myself more with the idea of Baphomet than Satan himself.
Anyways. The timeline is that I used to be Christian. I am no longer Christian. I am an atheist, but I value occult and Satanic imagery as a rebellious act against Christianity. Thank you for your time. I will elaborate more on my opinions later.
